As many baby-boomer wives know, marriages face new challenges as couples age. These hurdles are not necessarily more difficult, but they are different. One common problem is coping with a husband hard of hearing. Since hearing loss happens to most people after the age of 75, this changes life for more than half the senior population.
We all know someone who keeps the television on so loud that any peace in the house is shattered. This is a sign of impairment; the person with the problem really can't enjoy his shows any other way. Wives who may be used to their husbands watching TV after work or during the day after retirement will find themselves both irritated and isolated if they don't have the same tolerance for high volume. There are devices to enable the partly deaf to hear without simply turning up the sound.
Another problem, and one not so easily solved, is that what goes first for many men is high-pitched sounds. This means they have difficulty hearing their wives, daughters, and grandchildren speak. A wife may lose the ability to converse happily in the car, to talk from another room, or to have boisterous family gatherings with everyone milling around together. Fathers become increasingly shut out of general conversations.
Husbands also may react badly to being shouted at, which a lot of wives find themselves doing. It's hard to sound dulcet and winsome at the top of your voice, and shouting also may cause a more severe expression than you intend. Counselors familiar with this conflict suggest looking directly at your man and speaking slowly and clearly rather than at very loud volume. This, unfortunately, requires more effort, and many women, experiencing the fatigue that often accompanies the 'golden years', may resent this.
Of course, if we can be objective, messing up a long-term relationship because of a physical problem is a real waste. There are solutions, like battery-powered aids, that can minimize the problem. These little devices are like false teeth - not as good as the original - so many men resist them or fail to get the full benefit of them by repeated fittings and adjustments.
Many couples opt for extreme measures, like surgery. Implants used to be mainly for children but now are not unusual for seniors. Active men want to hear their wives, daughters, and grandkids. They don't want to miss sermons at church, phone conversations, or the general babble at family gatherings.
If you don't face this problem yet, it's still a good idea to get informed. All sorts of illnesses (heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, and other circulatory problems) and medications can cause men to lose their hearing. Deafness, they say, is more isolating than blindness, so it's worth protecting your ears early in life and finding solutions to help people hear later.
A wife who notices that her spouse may be losing this important ability can do a lot to educate both herself and her husband. Since many professions come with loud, continuous noise - farming, carpentry, the military, factory work, mining - men are prone to this disorder. Begin now to preserve all-important communication with your life partner.
We all know someone who keeps the television on so loud that any peace in the house is shattered. This is a sign of impairment; the person with the problem really can't enjoy his shows any other way. Wives who may be used to their husbands watching TV after work or during the day after retirement will find themselves both irritated and isolated if they don't have the same tolerance for high volume. There are devices to enable the partly deaf to hear without simply turning up the sound.
Another problem, and one not so easily solved, is that what goes first for many men is high-pitched sounds. This means they have difficulty hearing their wives, daughters, and grandchildren speak. A wife may lose the ability to converse happily in the car, to talk from another room, or to have boisterous family gatherings with everyone milling around together. Fathers become increasingly shut out of general conversations.
Husbands also may react badly to being shouted at, which a lot of wives find themselves doing. It's hard to sound dulcet and winsome at the top of your voice, and shouting also may cause a more severe expression than you intend. Counselors familiar with this conflict suggest looking directly at your man and speaking slowly and clearly rather than at very loud volume. This, unfortunately, requires more effort, and many women, experiencing the fatigue that often accompanies the 'golden years', may resent this.
Of course, if we can be objective, messing up a long-term relationship because of a physical problem is a real waste. There are solutions, like battery-powered aids, that can minimize the problem. These little devices are like false teeth - not as good as the original - so many men resist them or fail to get the full benefit of them by repeated fittings and adjustments.
Many couples opt for extreme measures, like surgery. Implants used to be mainly for children but now are not unusual for seniors. Active men want to hear their wives, daughters, and grandkids. They don't want to miss sermons at church, phone conversations, or the general babble at family gatherings.
If you don't face this problem yet, it's still a good idea to get informed. All sorts of illnesses (heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, and other circulatory problems) and medications can cause men to lose their hearing. Deafness, they say, is more isolating than blindness, so it's worth protecting your ears early in life and finding solutions to help people hear later.
A wife who notices that her spouse may be losing this important ability can do a lot to educate both herself and her husband. Since many professions come with loud, continuous noise - farming, carpentry, the military, factory work, mining - men are prone to this disorder. Begin now to preserve all-important communication with your life partner.
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